


Formerly Known As

by beggar_always



Category: Psych
Genre: Community: lover100, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-15
Updated: 2010-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 05:43:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beggar_always/pseuds/beggar_always
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Spencer..." Lassiter began in his best warning tone. "Why is there a dog eating off my floor?"</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Formerly Known As

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting on my computer since at least July. I haven't really changed anything since then...so I figure that means it must be done. *shrug*

It was a sign of just how long Carlton had been living with Shawn that he really wasn't all that surprised to come home (three long hours late) to find something alive in his favorite armchair. Carlton blinked at it for a moment as he hung his suit jacket up. The beep of the microwave drew him to the kitchen, wondering what exactly Shawn had gotten up to since he'd last seen him at the station that afternoon.

"Spencer, what the hell is sleeping in _my_ chair?" Lassiter demanded as he entered their kitchen. Shawn didn't so much as look up from whatever was spinning in the microwave.

"Hmm?" he hummed, as if he'd barely even heard Carlton.

"There is a breathing mound of fur in my chair," Lassiter explained slowly, willing himself not to start shouting. The microwave finally DINGED and Shawn popped up, happily opening the door to retrieve what looked like a burrito. "I thought you said you ordered pizza," Carlton said, half-curious, half-annoyed (sharing a bed with a burrito-laden fake psychic was definitely as bad as it sounded). He was half-tempted to pull out his cell phone to double check the text Shawn had sent him as he was leaving the station.

"Huh?" Shawn asked distractedly as he dropped the burrito onto a plate. Carlton looked pointedly at said plate. "This? This isn't for me." The 'duh' was unspoken, but clearly implied. "It's for our new furry roommate!" Shawn was grinning as he stepped around the dumbfounded Lassiter to move back toward the living room. It took Carlton a long moment to turn and follow.

"Our _what_?" The lump of fur had resolved itself into a dog, a fairly large one, that was eagerly stepping out of Lassiter's chair to go for the plate Shawn had just set on the floor. "Spencer..." Lassiter began in his best warning tone. "Why is there a dog eating off my floor?"

" _Our_ floor, Lassie. And he's not eating off the floor. I gave him a plate!" Lassiter glared at him; Shawn just rolled his eyes. "Lassie, I'd like you to meet the Canine Formerly Known As Woof." Carlton couldn't help it, he gaped.

"What?" he stammered. Shawn rolled his eyes again.

"That's his name: 'The Canine Formerly Known As Woof.' His name _was_ Woof, because his previous owners just didn't understand him _at all_ , so now he's pronounced that name and taken on 'The Canine Formerly Known As Woof' until he can decide what name suits him better. He's leaning toward this symbol that I just do not think is cool. I'm hoping to get him to settle for something like 'Dave.'"

"Renounced," Lassiter corrected automatically, even as his brain tried to process the rest of what Shawn had said.

"Huh?" Shawn was paying more attention to stroking the fur of the animal in front of him than he was to Carlton. (Lassiter was determined he _would not_ be jealous of a dog.)

"Renounced; he gave up 'Woof' and became...what the hell am I saying?" Carlton suddenly had a very strong headache. He closed his eye, lifting a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose. The air shifted in front of him and Carlton opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with Shawn.

"You said we could get a dog," Shawn said, trying to sound innocent. Carlton had been with the other man long enough to know better.

"I said I'd _think_ about it. And that was when you wanted a little beagle puppy. _That's_ a full grown..." Lassiter looked over at the dog (happily licking the plate clean) to try and determine its breed. "What the hell is it?"

"He's a mutt!" Shawn said with a bright smile. Carlton closed his eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath. He jumped, eyes flying open as a cold nose pressed against his hand, and found the dog staring up at him hopefully, his massive tail wagging. It was a bit intimidating to see the dog's head nearly came up to his hip. "See! He likes you!"

Carlton sighed. All he'd wanted to do was come home, eat a late dinner, maybe let Shawn talk him into a make-out session on the couch before they dragged each other off to bed. Finding a giant mutt that Shawn had apparently adopted had not been in his sights for the evening. It really wasn't fair that he found himself faced with two sets of wide, hopeful eyes, staring up at him.

"Where did you get him from, anyway?" Carlton asked, moving around both of them to head back to the kitchen. This definitely demanded a beer.

"At the pound!" Shawn cried, following after him. "Can you believe someone just _left_ him there!?" Lassiter leaned back against the counter as he took a long drag of his beer. He had a feeling a response of 'Yeah, actually' would only be met with one of Shawn's glares (and probably lead to something nasty finding its way into his shampoo bottle...).

"So..." Shawn murmured as he pressed up against Carlton, sliding his arms around the detective's waist. "Can we keep him?" Lassiter set his beer on the counter behind him so he could have his own hands free, moaning softly as Shawn kissed a path along his jawline.

"Are you trying to bribe me with sex?" he mumbled as he felt Shawn's teeth graze lightly against his earlobe.

"Is it working?" Shawn asked just before his mouth landed on Carlton's. Carlton widened his stance to pull Shawn closer, happy with the fact it looked like he was getting his make-out session after all. Shawn made a low murmur of approval when Lassiter's hands slid down to grab onto his ass and Carlton smiled against Shawn's lips as he brought their hips close together.

Both of them groaned as the doorbell rang only a couple of minutes later. Carlton reluctantly pulled his hand from where it'd slid down the back of Shawn's jeans as the other man straightened. "Ted always has the worst timing," Shawn grumbled as he reached down to try and make his erection a little less obvious (it did nothing to ease the hard-on Lassiter was sporting).

"You're the one who always calls him and then jumps me in the kitchen," Carlton teased as he reached behind him to retrieve his beer. He grinned in response to the glare Shawn shot him before Shawn turned and left the room to accept their dinner.

As soon as Shawn left, Carlton noticed the dog, sitting patiently in the middle of the kitchen floor, watching him.

"You're not a very good guard dog, are you?" Lassiter grumbled. What kind of dog didn't run for the door when someone showed up? _Especially_ someone carrying food? The mutt made a sound that was half growl, half whine before it got to its feet and followed after Shawn. Carlton sighed and followed after as well.

Lassiter grumbled at the slice of pizza that found its way to the floor for the dog five minutes into dinner. He flat-out _refused_ to let the dog join them on the couch.

"But Lassie," Shawn complained. "He feels left out." The mutt chose then to rest his heavy head on Lassiter's knee. How the hell did the pathetic-looking ones always mange to find him? Carlton would never admit to the scratch behind the ears he gave the dog when Shawn disappeared into the kitchen for more beer.

\------

Later that night, as Lassiter was leaning off the edge of their bed to grab the towel Shawn had dropped on the floor, he found himself nose-to-snout with the behemoth.

"Shawn," he hissed, reaching behind him to smack at whatever he could reach of the other man.

"Wha...?" Shawn stirred from his sex-induced lethargy enough to swat at Lassiter's hand.

"It's staring at me."

"Dude," Shawn yawned loudly. "It so isn't; you wore it out, man." Carlton looked back in confusion in time to see Shawn poke lightly at his own flaccid cock, a look of deep concentration on his face.

"Not your dick, jackass," Carlton grumbled. "The damn dog." Lassiter turned back to reach for the towel again only to have to scramble at the edge of the mattress to keep from falling off the bed as Shawn suddenly rolled onto his back.

"Shawn!" he grunted as he shrugged the other man off. Shawn yawned in his ear.

"Don't blame me; I told him to wait in the hall."

"Spencer..." Lassiter's post-sex buzz was almost entirely gone. Shawn sighed loudly and rolled back on top of Carlton.

"Seacrest, out!" he ordered. Lassiter watched, slightly fascinated as the dog actually obeyed. He groaned.

"You are not naming our dog 'Seacrest,'" Carlton insisted as Shawn rolled off of him, dragging the towel with him.

"Relax, Lassie. I'm sure he's just going through a...hey! Did you just call him _our_ dog?" Shawn was grinning up at him, suddenly wide awake. Lassiter cursed under his breath and grabbed the towel from Shawn to wipe himself off.

"Just...no naming him after obnoxious television personalities." Lassiter let out an OOMPH as he was suddenly buried under a bear hug.

"I knew you really loved me," Shawn murmured into his neck. Carlton tightened his arms, just slightly around Shawn. The younger man gave him a moment before he pulled away enough to kiss him. "And don't worry, Carly," Shawn said as he shifted to straddle Lassiter's hips. "Seacrest is a radio personality, too!" Shawn probably thought Carlton only groaned because of _that thing_ he started doing with his tongue; he wasn't entirely wrong.

/end


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